{"id":58900,"title":"Back from Rome: The Little Things","description":"An autistic diary of my first day back from Rome: an energy crash, a guilt-free nap and the little things that help my mental health.","content":"

25 Oct 2026<\/p>

Sunday, first day back<\/h2>

First day back from our holiday in Rome, and I am shattered. All the travelling, all the walking (so much walking), and now the job of easing back into a routine. This is a diary of the day, and of the little things that got me through it.<\/p>

Morning<\/h2>

I started with Japanese. I hadn't done any for a week, and picking it back up first thing was hard. My mind kept wandering off, and I had to keep pulling it back. But I kept going. Tomorrow will be easier.<\/p>

Then came the comfort trio: a hot water bottle, cuddles with the cat, and a lot of coffee. Probably too much coffee, if I'm honest. It's just not as strong as it was in Rome, so I kept going back for more.<\/p>

Porridge for breakfast. Cooking for myself again feels weird after a week of someone else doing it.<\/p>

We watched the second half of Gladiator, which we'd started the night before. Then I unpacked, put a wash on and hoovered. And that was it. That completely used up the energy I had.<\/p>

The wall<\/h2>

I'd planned to have a shower and do my nails, just to feel nice. I couldn't make myself do it.<\/p>

My husband was watching a live stream of Manchester Airport. The weather was stormy, so some planes were struggling to land. (Very glad we didn't go through that yesterday!) It was surprisingly entertaining. I watched for a bit, had another coffee, and finally found the energy to shower.<\/p>

Then I crashed.<\/p>

I tried running through the positive thinking that usually helps, but it didn't last. When my husband said the hoovering had made him feel stuffy, I got snappy. He could tell I was being defensive. That's when I realised how tired I actually was.<\/p>

Permission, part one: the nap<\/h2>

So I took a nap. But first I had to persuade myself that napping in the daytime was allowed, when part of me felt I should be working on Calm Hands Club or doing more housework.<\/p>

I slept for about an hour and woke up feeling brighter.<\/p>

Permission, part two: cheese and biscuits at half three<\/h2>

I woke up wanting cheese and biscuits. It was half past three. I decided that giving myself what I wanted today was OK.<\/p>

So I ate cheese and biscuits and watched more planes landing and taking off. It felt good to eat exactly what I fancied. More cat cuddles followed.<\/p>

Permission, part three: no work today<\/h2>

I gave myself permission not to work on Calm Hands Club today. That one wasn't easy, but it was the right call.<\/p>

Instead, we put on Roman Holiday. This took some negotiation: my husband had chosen Gladiator, so it was only fair. It was funnier than I expected. Rome looks just as hectic and lively then as it does now, just with slightly fewer people.<\/p>

Permission, part four: a jacket potato with just butter<\/h2>

For dinner I fancied a jacket potato with butter. Nothing else. Again, I had to give myself permission. No salad, no veg, which I always feel guilty about. Just the potato. And it was exactly right.<\/p>

Tonight<\/h2>

I'm having an early night with my new book, Hooked. I started it on the flight home, and it got me through the nerves.<\/p>

What I didn't know before I started: one of the characters pulls her hair too. And she's written as an emotionally unstable stalker. So, not great.<\/p>

In my experience, you hardly ever see hair pullers in books, films or TV. And when you do, they're the bad one, or the unstable one. That feels unfair. Most of us are just people getting through our days, like I was today.<\/p>

It's a good book so far, though.<\/p>

The little things that helped today<\/h2>